


All of This Can be Broken

by ImperialMint



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fix-It, Happy Ending, M/M, Titan Shifters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 08:49:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7751095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperialMint/pseuds/ImperialMint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chapter 84 AU. Levi is tired of everything. He's tired of fighting, tired of leading, and tired of losing. On the precipice of losing everything, it seems Erwin has plans greater than any of them knew. Not everything is lost, and maybe they'll make it through this after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All of This Can be Broken

**Author's Note:**

> So don't look too hard at the plausibility of all this because... while i'm clinging on to false hope Erwin will magically live or something (false hope that will never leave me even 20 years from now), coming up with actual reasons and trying to make it fit into canon is tricky. 
> 
> Essentially this is me dealing with ch.84 by saying no fuck you! and redoing it. Denial is a great place and I had a lot of fun with this story. Who needs canon when you can imagine your own, better scenarios eh! The title is taken from Devil's Spoke by Laura Marling. I originally did want to name this Lé Creux du Vis to keep with the demon theme in canon but it doesn't quite fit, so it's just an honourable mention here.
> 
> Anyway thank you to [lunarshores](lunarshores.tumblr.com) for betaing, and I hope that if you're reading this you enjoy. You deserve some happiness at least after the mess of chapter 84 <3

“You’re going to have to do this for me,” Levi remembers, staring down at the body on the roof. He is tired, weary beyond his years, though he’s been weary for what feels like centuries.

“You’re going to have to do this for me, because I can’t,” Levi remembers, and he closes his eyes, wondering if he’ll have the strength left to open them again.

He’s back in a room with Erwin, soft light filtering through the window. It reminds him almost of a romantic scene, a time when Erwin would pull him close and hold him. It reminds him of when the world was a little kinder (only a little, for their world is always going to be a brutal one), a world where Erwin was breathing and whole and-

No, Levi thinks. That world isn’t gone, not yet.

“What do you want?” Levi remembers himself saying, and Erwin’s brows had furrowed. He’d looked away, and then back up. His expression had been something Levi couldn’t read, and it had terrified him.

“I don’t know,” Erwin had said, and Levi had felt as if they were treading a very dangerous path. Everything they want could be theirs, but they were beginning to lose themselves.

“Erwin,” Levi had demanded, taking a step towards the desk. He’d had no idea if Hanji had been listening in, or anyone else for that matter, but he hadn’t cared.

“I know I entrusted the serum to you, Levi,” he’d said, and Levi had felt his chest tighten. It was a heavy burden, is even heavier now, and Levi wishes he could turn time back and shove the serum and Erwin away.

He’s never been able to control time though. Of course he hasn’t. There are so many things Levi would have changed if he could.

“Do not use the serum on me,” Erwin had said, all of his uncertainty dripping away. It had been an order, the clearest Levi had ever received, and Levi had tilted his chin, waiting for an explanation why.

“No matter what, even if things look their worst, do not use the serum on me,” Erwin had said instead, the look in his eye letting Levi know everything he’d been thinking. Erwin had known Levi would want to use it, if everything went terribly, terribly wrong. Erwin would have been the first person Levi chose, and they both knew it.

“Promise me Levi,” Erwin had said, and there had been nothing else Levi could do except promise him. There was little he could deny Erwin, after all, and there was a reason he was making this request.

Now, alone with Erwin and Armin, both with their chests hardly moving, Levi lets his grip slip from Erwin’s arm. His arm lands above him, and Levi can feel devastation creeping up on himself with what he’s about to do. He hadn’t been thinking before, hasn’t had fucking time to think since entering the field, and only now is he remembering Erwin’s words. Erwin, who planned for everything, couldn’t have planned this.

But Levi had promised. Levi had made a promise, and if there was a hope, any hope-

“I promise,” Levi remembers saying, hand over his chest as Erwin had looked at him, eyes soft. He’s smiled.

“Thank you Levi,” he’d said, and he’d sounded tired, as tired as Levi is now.

He does it quickly, and watches as Armin explodes into something huge. He doesn’t feel anything as he watches Armin destroy the colossal titan, doesn’t feel anything as Eren and Mikasa stand there crying, doesn’t feel anything as Hanji stands beside him, and doesn’t feel anything when he looks at the tired betrayal on Floch’s face. He doesn’t even feel anything when Hanji says Erwin is gone.

He’s tired. Too tired. He doesn’t want to see Eren, Mikasa and Armin. He doesn’t want to see Hanji’s face, doesn’t want to look at Erwin. He does, though, look at Erwin. He looks peaceful, similar to how he looks in the morning, when Levi sneaks glances before the world claims him. There’s something wrong, though; Erwin is too stiff, too cold, and Levi looks away, grief welling in his chest.

Not yet, he tells himself. There is still a job to be done, a promise to be kept. When he’s killed the beast titan, Levi will return for Erwin. He’ll return and take him somewhere nice. After that, Levi doesn’t know what he’ll do. Maybe he’ll stay with Erwin and wait for inevitable death. Maybe he’ll go back to the Walls. Or maybe there will be the basement then, maybe after all this death and disaster they’ll have their answer.

Levi doesn’t really want answers. What use are answers when Erwin won’t be there to see them?

Hanji lays her hand on his shoulder. Her cheeks are streaked with tears, though Levi isn’t sure if she’s cried over Erwin or if they were for Moblit. He doesn’t have enough sadness in him to grieve for Moblit, and Levi wishes he could feel guilty for that.

“We’re going to move on,” Hanji says, and Levi doesn’t say anything. He stands and doesn’t take a second glance back at Erwin. He has to keep moving or he’ll crumble. There are things Levi knows how to do, and killing titans is one of them.

They move on. Just like they always do.

.

Zeke’s face is under Levi’s foot, and he feels on the verge of victory. It’s a shallow victory of course, and they still have so much more to get through, but he’s fulfilled the promise he made. Levi’s blade twitches, Zeke’s face contorts unhappily, and something in the air changes.

“Levi!” Hanji shouts, and Levi is unsurprised to see titans nearby, summoned by Zeke’s desperation. They won’t get here in time, not even close, and Levi ignores them.

“Levi!” Hanji shouts again, and there’s panic in her voice, more than Levi has heard this entire damned expedition. Something has her terrified, and it makes Levi pause, one blade still embedded in the remainder of Zeke’s shoulder.

As soon as he looks up, Levi understands Hanji’s worry. There is a titan standing taller than the others making its way towards them, pushing and roaring its way through. It’s reminiscent of Eren when he’s unaware of what he’s doing, and the sight of it freezes Levi in his tracks.

They were so close. He was so close.

“Levi! Get out of there!” Hanji shouts, and Levi is torn. The titan is almost upon them, fingers clawing at the edge of the roof, steam billowing from its maw, but Levi has a job to do. He has to kill Zeke now, or none of this will be worth it. The titan’s coming for Zeke, that’s for sure. It’ll take him, save him, and place them at 0 again.

The cycle never ends, Levi thinks, and he’s tired of this.

Maybe it’s because he’s tired that he doesn’t react in time, or maybe it’s because nothing matters anymore. Either way, Levi barely has time to step back as the titan’s hand crashes the roof through. Tiles and wood splinter, and Levi feels cuts open up along his forearms and cheeks as he sets his hooks into the building, hoping it’s enough to get him to Hanji on the roof of a nearby building. He has no gas, his last blades are uselessly pinned into Zeke and the rubble.

Levi has nothing.

Levi has failed.

Again.

The rubble shifts under them, and Hanji’s hands are at her gear, offloading gas and blades to Levi. She does all the work, re-equipping him as he just watches, numb, as the titan stands. He searches for Zeke, wondering whether he’s riding on the titan’s shoulder or hiding in its hands or mouth, and something hits Levi in the stomach when the titan looks at him.

It’s not possible. There is no way-

There is a crunch, something there is no way Levi should have been able to hear, and then the titan is melting, crumbling, splitting, falling apart. Steam rises, and Levi’s knees buckle. Hanji joins him a moment later, and then she’s darting forwards, peering over the edge, shaking her head as she looks at the gloom and mess below.

“Levi,” she says, voice firm. She’s on the edge of breaking just like he is, but there is something else in her voice. Hanji is a scientist, even after all of this, and if there is a shifter down below, it’s good news.

“I can’t,” Levi says, and closes his eyes for a moment. He doesn’t know if Zeke is still alive or if the titan down there had actually eaten him. He doesn’t know anything, except that humanity is doomed, they’re all doomed, and he doesn’t care anymore.

“Levi, I’m going down there,” Hanji says. Part of Levi wants to stop her, wants to go with her, but he does neither of these things. He just waits on the edge of the building, kneeling on the roof.

He can hear the sound of a fight far away, Eren and the armoured titan and Armin and fuck knows who else. They should be there helping, a tiny bit of him says, but Levi doesn’t care. He’s here, he’s not going over there, and they can handle themselves now. They don’t know loss the way he and Hanji do. They’ll get through this.

“Shit,” Levi hears from below, and then again, louder. “Levi get down here, now!”

There is no room for negotiation in Hanji’s words, so Levi does. He feels as if he’s on a precipice as he lands on the ground. The ground is vulnerable, they are vulnerable, and he doesn’t want to confront what it was he saw in that titan’s eyes.

Except he has to. Of course Levi has to. When has he ever had something easy and simple? None of them have, and he feels sick when he sees the head cradled in Hanji’s lap, one arm covering a mouth as it – he – coughs.

Betrayal is something Levi has lived with his entire life, but nothing feels more disgusting than seeing Erwin here now, the marks of a titan shifter fading slowly from his body. Erwin was always going to survive, always going to pull through, Levi should have known. He should have  _known_.

“Promise me you won’t use the serum on me,” Erwin had said, and the words ring in Levi’s ears. This has been planned for a long time, and Levi feels anger burn in his stomach.

How dare he, Levi thinks. How dare Erwin do this to them, to him? He was dead, and that isn’t something that Levi will ever get over. Levi had had to make a choice, and that choice had resulted in Erwin’s death, corpse drying in the sun as they carried on endlessly.

“Le…vi…”

It’s the first word he says, and Levi’s anger floods out of him in an instant, relief taking its place without a second thought. How could it not, he thinks. This is Erwin, the man he loves and will go to the very end of the world with, alive. He is alive, and Levi doesn’t care if he’s hidden a thousand more things at this moment. He can be angry when they are safe, when this is over.

Levi doesn’t say anything. He can see Hanji crying now, and Erwin pushes himself up slowly, letting her throw herself at the side without an arm. He looks sad, regretful, and turns to Levi with wide eyes.

“I don’t expect you to-“ he begins, voice weak, but Levi doesn’t give a shit. He’s there before Erwin’s finished speaking, arms tight around Erwin’s chest, brushing and holding Hanji too. He thinks he’s crying, cries even harder when Erwin’s arm settles on his back, and he doesn’t let Erwin finish what he’s saying.

Levi doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that Erwin lied, he doesn’t care that he’s just eaten Zeke, and doesn’t care that Erwin is a shifter now. All he cares about is that Erwin is here. He’s here, alive. Erwin is here, and Levi hasn’t lost everything again.

Hanji is the first to pull back, and she’s standing quickly, inspecting Erwin as best as she can considering Levi refuses to move. She doesn’t even try and move him, just continues on her investigation words pouring from her mouth that make no sense to Levi.

“I have to ask though,” Hanji says, sitting back down. She’s given them some space, though not much, her knees brushing the two of them, and leans forward eagerly. “How did you do it?”

This is something Levi wants to hear, and he pulls back. He grabs Erwin’s hand at the last moment, uncharacteristic in wanting to keep physical contact in front of others, but it’s only Hanji, and the circumstances somewhat exceed Levi’s usual boundaries.

Erwin squeezes softly. His hand is still as firm as it ever was, the small scars Levi is familiar with still covering the back of his hand too. He is unchanged, still the same Erwin he ever was, and while Levi is dead-tired and reaching his limit, he needs to hear this.

“Historia found a small vial,” he begins, and Levi wonders how far this went back, if Historia is involved. He wonders how Erwin managed to keep such a burden on his shoulders, and realises that it explains a lot of his recent behaviour, things that Levi picked up on and never mentioned. They’ve all been stressed, he’d rationalised. In hindsight, things are always much clearer.

“She wasn’t sure if it contained titan serum or if it was something else entirely. I took it, intending to use it if there were no other options.” Erwin runs his thumb over the back of Levi’s hand, looking at him briefly, offering a small smile. He looks healthy, healthier than he has in months, years perhaps.

Clearly there were no other options though, and Levi draws in a sharp breath, remembering what Floch had said about the mission being a suicide one. Erwin had led the mission himself.

“You wanted there to be no other options,” Levi mutters, and Erwin looks at him, lips pressed tightly together. “You wanted to be forced into using it.”

And maybe he wanted to die too, Levi thinks, but he doesn’t say that. They all have that streak running through them, and some days it’s harder to deal with. Every other day, though, they have to get on, push forward, and do their best.

“Maybe,” Erwin admits, and he’s more vulnerable now than Levi has ever seen him, looking down, naked from the waist up and clutching Levi’s hand as if it’s the only thing keeping him alive. “Maybe that’s what I wanted all along,” Erwin says, as if it’s only now he’s realised what he’d done on that mission.

“So the serum,” Hanji says softly, prodding them back to their conversation. They don’t have time for the deep emotional side of this yet, and Levi lets the conversation go back, ignoring everything he’s feeling.

Later, he tells himself. They have a later now, and Levi will not take that for granted.

“I was able to inject it into my stomach, the only place I could reach.” Erwin looks up, a little sheepishly at that. “I was in a lot of pain, barely conscious and… well. I missed the artery, that’s for sure, and then I fell unconscious.”

“Do you remember anything else?” Hanji presses, and Levi can tell she’s excited about this development. A titan with Erwin’s tenacity and mind? They were looking at having a super titan, that’s for sure.

“It’s hazy from then,” Erwin admits. “I remember someone carrying me, then Levi fighting.” They’re silent as Erwin says that, and Levi feels unexplained guilt rise in him. Even if Erwin had asked him not to use the serum on him, even if Erwin knew there was a chance he’d survive no matter what, Levi had chosen Armin, in the end.

“I remember nothing and thinking that that was it then, that anyone in that much pain…” Erwin quietens. “Then I remember waking up, changing, and having a purpose.”

They don’t need to discuss the purpose. Even as a supposedly mindless titan it’s not surprising Erwin’s determination shone through.

“Do you think the serum you used just took that long to activate, or that death triggered something?” Hanji asks clinically yet dashed with excitement. Erwin doesn’t answer straight away, and when he does, Levi knows that not everything had processed yet, that he’s still on the same purgatory level as Levi is, tired and waiting to comprehend everything.

“I don’t know,” he says, and Hanji nods, standing. She adjusts her glasses, wipes her cheeks, and her shoulders slump.

“You’re back,” Hanji whispers, and Levi watches as Erwin looks up at her, nodding.

“The armoured titan is the one the others are taking on,” she says, and it’s clear she’s going to check on their progress. “I’m not going to get involved,” Hanji says, looking away.

Levi knows that she will if things look like they’re going terribly, but she’ll observe, wait, and collect the living. It means Levi and Erwin will need to find somewhere for them to stay, and Levi has a sudden urge to keep Erwin all to himself, away from the others.

“Of course,” Erwin says, and he looks down at himself, as if noticing that he’s half-naked for the first time. “We need to find supplies.”

There are a number of wagons scattered, Hanji informs them, and they set out to collect supplies. Levi wishes they had a horse or two, if only to give him something to do after he lets go of Erwin’s hand.

Silence, at least speech, settles between them. The sound of a fight lingers in the background, and the silence is tense. Usually, Levi can read Erwin well, but he doesn’t know how to approach anything now. And he’s tired, so, so tired.

“I’m sorry,” Erwin says suddenly, and Levi stops. Erwin is a pace before him, but he turns, watching Levi carefully. “I didn’t think things would get that bad, I didn’t think you’d have to know.”

Levi clenches his fists.

“I wasn’t supposed to be brought here. If things got that bad, no one else was supposed to survive, or be well enough to do that.” Erwin’s voice is blank, and Levi takes a steadying breath, trying to centre himself.

“I still would have found out,” Levi says thickly, and Erwin nods.

“You would have found out it happened,” Erwin corrects smoothly, quietly, “I didn’t want you to see it, for you to know first-hand. That’s not something I’d ever want you to see,” Erwin finishes, and his voice is rough, expression haggard. He truly hadn’t meant for Levi to see him dying, dead, gone, but Levi had.

“I was going to choose you,” Levi says quietly, forcing himself to walk again. Erwin is quiet, but he stays steady at Levi’s side, waiting. “I would have done anything,  _anything_ , to bring you back.”

Erwin dips his head, and Levi knows that this is it for him, for them both. There never was a doubt that they would be it for each other, but there is no one in the entire world who could come close to Erwin, let alone replace him. If Erwin dies (properly, finally), Levi dies too. There’s no moving past that, not anymore.

“You did the right thing,” Erwin says, and Levi smiles humourlessly. It’s good to hear, especially knowing that it hadn’t been the right thing, not if Erwin hadn’t been the man he is and planned. Erwin’s faith is unwavering, though, as much as Levi’s is.

“Why are you half-naked anyway,” Levi mutters, digging through the wagon they’d found.

He finds a tattered uniform. It’s a little on the small side, the manoeuvre gear straps will definitely chafe, but it’s all they have. Erwin does his best, has to leave three buttons undone, and gives up on the jacket entirely. His bolo tie is missing, obviously, and he looks odd without it, but it’s something.

“I don’t know why,” Erwin says suddenly. “I feel that maybe I ripped my clothes off during my transformation?”

Levi rolls his eyes. “It’s not like you decided to strip when inside the titan is it,” he comments, and Erwin smiles. It reaches the corners of his eyes, crinkling them, and Levi feels his chest becoming lighter, the grief in his stomach unwinding.

He hasn’t lost everything. Erwin is here, and Levi’s defeated Zeke. Humanity isn’t doomed, and they’re so close to reaching the fucking basement. Levi feels something like hope stirring in the depths of his chest, and he pushes it down. Not yet, anyway.

“Maybe being a titan shifter brings out odd new urges in me,” Erwin comments, and that one actually has Levi laughing. It’s not that funny, they’re still in a danger zone, but Levi needs to laugh, and laugh he does.

Erwin’s laugh joins his, and they’re soon both doubled over, one of Erwin’s shirt buttons popping off to fuel even more laughter. Levi doesn’t care if they’re in the middle of a war, he doesn’t care that any one of them could die at any moment, and he doesn’t care if they’re disgusting and in desperate need of shower, food and sleep. He looks at Erwin, feels his laughter slip, and closes the space between them.

There’s no spare fabric for him to grab Erwin’s shirt, so Levi pulls his arm instead. Erwin leans down, and Levi’s kissing him desperately, hands grabbing the back of Erwin’s head. There is nothing soft or gentle in their kiss; it’s fierce, something full of passion that has Levi gasping as they part for a moment. He drags Erwin against him, resting on the wagon side, and Erwin’s arm rests along the side of the wagon, still kissing Levi.

Heart hammering, Levi leans back against the wagon. He’s lucky it’s upturned, the bottom forming a wall to rest against, and he threads a hand through Erwin’s hair, the other dipping over his shoulders. He turns his head, Erwin mouthing along his jaw, eyes ablaze as he catches Levi’s eye. They shouldn’t be doing this, not here, and Levi really doesn’t know if he has the strength in him, but he can’t let Erwin go.

Erwin’s arm slips down between them, fingering the zipper on Levi’s breeches. A spike of pleasure flows through Levi, and it doesn’t matter if he’s tired, apparently. It’s Erwin, Erwin who he thought he’d lost, and Levi doesn’t take long to grow hard. He bites his lip as Erwin catches the tip of his ear between his teeth, slipping Levi out of his breeches.

And then Erwin is moving down, kneeling in the dirt. He bends his neck, exposing the most vulnerable part of himself, and takes Levi’s cock in his mouth, no question about it. He practically swallows Levi down, and Levi’s head thumps back against the wood, a groan passing his lips. They haven’t done this in a long while, and his hand tangles in Erwin’s hair as he moves, lapping at Levi as if he’s the best thing Erwin’s ever had in his mouth.

Gently, Erwin sucks the tip of Levi’s cock, and Levi looks down. He meets Erwin’s eyes immediately, cheeks hollowed, and the palm of his hand massages Levi’s balls, a finger curled against his perineum. He smiles, and Levi lets out a shaky breath as his dick is engulfed again. It feels so good, warmth flowing through Levi and rejuvenating him, centralising him once more and making everything they’d been through worth it. He was living again, both of them, and a smirk pulled at Levi’s lips as Erwin moved a little faster, curling his tongue with every move back he made.

Levi’s hips hitch upwards as Erwin pulls back with a wet pop. He keeps his hand there, though, and Levi can’t help but grind down, as close as he is. He hopes Erwin takes pity on him and stalls when he looks at Erwin, taken aback by the unbridled love he can see in his expression. He can’t react, not when he’s busy and close to coming, and Erwin senses what he needs, moving back to Levi’s dick. He kisses the tip, noses the side, and then he’s licking and sucking, taking Levi fully again and moving and-

Levi comes and doubles over, hands flying out to catch himself on Erwin’s shoulders. His head buries itself against the side of Erwin’s, nose burrowing into Erwin’s hair. He’s dirty and disgusting, covered in sweat and fuck knows what else, but Levi inhales deeply, closing his eyes as Erwin’s scent fills him.

He pulls back eventually, noticing that Erwin has already tucked him away and smartened them both up as best he could. He smiles at Levi and then kisses him softly, both of them kneeling on the ground now, wrapped up in each other entirely.

They don’t say anything, just sit there for a while, holding each other. Levi feels content, and wonders if they deserve this. He closes that thought off quickly though-- it’s a dangerous route.

“We should take this wagon back,” Erwin says eventually, and Levi nods. He wants to keep Erwin to himself for a little longer, doesn’t want to be around the others, but they can’t afford that selfishness. If anything, he argues to himself, he wants to pay Erwin back later for the blow job, and he can’t if anyone’s around.

Still, there will be time for that after – Levi is determined for that. Now he knows that he can lose, and has lost, Erwin, he wants to live, wants Erwin to live. They’ve made the impossible happen too many times already: they can survive this war.

“It’s fucked,” Levi says, kicking the base of the wagon. It is, and even if they managed to tip it over, there’s only one wheel, no horse and the supplies would fall off in seconds.

Erwin seems to be considering something, and it takes Levi just a moment to realise what he’s about to suggest. He raises an eyebrow before Erwin speaks, and Erwin nods.

“It’s the only logical option,” he offers, and Levi crosses his arms over his chest.

“The only logical option is to turn into a titan and carry it,” he says, and he wonders when this day will end. It’s just one thing after another, and Levi is too tired for anything else.

“Carry it and you,” Erwin offers, and Levi resists the urge to run a hand over his face. He sighs instead, wanting to point out the many flaws in Erwin’s plan, but it really doesn’t look like they have a lot of time. The fight appears to have quietened down, though what that means doe them, Levi isn’t sure. The logical thought is that Hanji will be bringing the survivors back, which means they need to be there with supplies and somewhere to sleep that they can guard well.

“Fine. Let me grab some fresh blades first. I’m not above slicing you up if I need to,” Levi warns, and he thinks he’ll be able to do it. He’ll certainly be able to cut Erwin free of the titan anyway, but whether he’ll be able to stop Erwin more than that if he needs to…

“I trust you,” Erwin says, and Levi feels the world tremble as Erwin closes his eyes, focusing.

The transformation is shaky, Erwin still far from mastering the power, but he shoots upwards, expanding until he is massive, easily taller than Eren’s standard form. He is pure muscle and sinew, but has white fur around his shoulders and over his back, as if he’s wearing a cloak. His arms are longer than they should be, but the fur and that seem to be the only appearance attributes he’s picked up from the beast titan.

And then there’s the fucking horns, two curved structures that shoot from titan-Erwin’s skull. They weren’t fucking about when they called Erwin a demon, Levi thought, and there’s no way Erwin can take on the beast titan name. He’s a demon titan, and Levi knows that Erwin is a titan built purely for battle.

Titan-Erwin looks down, and then he’s crouching, offering out the palm of his hand. He has two arms as a titan, which Levi is sure Hanji will find curious considering Erwin doesn’t grow his arm back, and the other hand reaches for the wagon, turning it over. Levi watches as Erwin carefully collects what they need and places it on the wagon, and then he’s being scrutinised once again, bright blue eyes questioning him.

“Fine,” Levi says, ignoring every instinct telling him to run from the titan. It’s still Erwin, and he steps onto Erwin’s palm, trying not to feel too unsettled as he rises up and up and up. It’s a slower progression than using the manoeuvre gear, but it’s an unfamiliar one, and Levi is glad to be placed on Erwin’s shoulder.

The fur is thick and smells of Erwin, though Levi wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting. This  _is_  still Erwin, and he runs his hands through the fur. It’s coarse, not something Levi wants to be touching, but he sees the slight pull of Erwin’s extended lips and knows the gesture is appreciated.

“You’re not a bad looking titan,” Levi says, loud enough for it to reach Erwin’s ears. He nods slowly, mindful of his passenger, and Levi takes it as a thank you.

The wagon is cradled in Erwin’s hands, and then they’re off, walking slowly over the land. Erwin’s steps are careful, though Levi isn’t sure how much of that has to do with him being careful of the things he’s carrying or whether he just needs to focus on keeping his form. Either way, with determination, Erwin gets them back to the building they’d been reunited at, only to find that they’re not going to be alone.

Hanji is the first one Levi notices, and she is smiling, standing before the others. Levi isn’t sure what she’s told them, but no one (not even Mikasa) is reaching for their blades or firing hooks off. They’re just watching, though none of them seem particularly comfortable with titan-Erwin’s presence.

Erwin sets the supplies down heavily at the base of the building, and then he offers a hand to Levi. No sooner is Levi on the ground then the titan form collapses, steam pluming upwards. Erwin is sitting in the thick of it, and Levi wastes no time in pulling him free of the titan mess, ignoring how disgusting it is, ignoring the people watching, ignoring everything except Erwin.

“Just about made it,” Erwin says softly, clearing his throat. He’s about as exhausted as Levi, and it’s showing now: dark circles under his eyes, eyelids drooping, shoulders slumped. Levi nods, hauling him up and steadying him.

They meet Hanji first, and she smiles, something tired and small, but it’s a smile still. She points to a nearby building, a multi-floored, squat thing that will do. She breezes past the rest of the group, and Levi follows, not daring look at anyone. He doesn’t want to see their faces, doesn’t want to see what they make of this. He has Erwin, that’s what matters.

Erwin isn’t behind him though. He’s stopped, his hand resting on Floch’s shoulder, and Floch looks as if he’s about to cry. Levi knows Erwin is thanking him, for even if Floch intefered with his plan, because that’s Erwin all over. He’s grateful to his men, looks after his own no matter what, and knows the sacrifice Floch made. He is a great commander, and Levi finds the courage to look at the others.

They’re fixated on Erwin, as he knew they would be. All of them are speechless, as well they should be. Erwin’s back from the dead and with a greater power. He’s survived, and none of them know how, except that it shouldn’t be possible.

Levi doesn’t care though. He walks on, and then he hears Erwin follow, the two of them trailing Hanji as she leads them into the building. She doesn’t say anything, just sets them into a room that has a handful of broken chairs and a lumpy, dirty mattress. She shrugs, it’s the best she can do, and it’s more than enough.

Looking at Erwin, Levi knows they share the same thought. He speaks quickly, before Hanji can leave.

“Stay with us,” he says, and Hanji’s eyes widen, as if that’s the last thing she’s expected. She looks to Erwin, then back at Levi.

“Maybe later,” she admits quietly. “I’d like to be alone for a while first,” Hanji continues, and Levi understands. For all that she loves them, she’s still lost Moblit today. Moblit isn’t going to come back, and she deserves time to grieve.

“Someone will bring supplies to you,” she says, and there is no doubt that Hanji is in charge temporarily, even with Erwin here. He nods, Levi notices, and then sinks down onto the mattress.

“Thank you,” Levi says, and Hanji offers him a watery smile, leaving them to it. She’ll be back later, he thinks, and they’ll make room for her in this dingy room. They’ll rest together, and then tomorrow they’ll take on the rest of the world.

It’s a while before someone appears in the doorway, and by that time Levi is sitting beside Erwin. Erwin’s lying down, and Levi’s considering joining him when someone clears their throat. It’s Eren, of course it is, and Levi can see Mikasa and Armin hovering behind, as if they’re afraid to leave Eren alone with him for too long. Something slips traitorously in Levi’s stomach as he thinks that they should be afraid of him, that he’s glad they’re here to see Erwin returned.

“Supplies, captain,” Eren says, avoiding Levi’s eyes as he sets down a box. “Commander,” he adds, and Levi remembers the feeling of his fist against Eren’s mouth, knocking teeth from jaw as he fought to keep Erwin with him. He’d do it again in a heartbeat, to anyone who tried to stop him.

“Thank you Eren,” Erwin says, and he’s standing up above Levi, shoulders squared and jaw set. “I’d like for us to talk tomorrow, all of us, about our options and our plans from here on.”

Erwin softens, his shoulders dipping, and he looks down at Levi.

“I want you to rest tonight. We’ve all been through hell, and you need to be with the ones you love,” he says, but he doesn’t once look away from Levi. Levi doesn’t dare look away either, not even when he hears Eren mumble something and walk off, taking the outside world with him.

They fall onto the bed, Levi tucked close to Erwin’s chest. He doesn’t have the energy for food yet, and he needs to talk before anything else.

“You died today,” he says quietly, and Erwin wraps his arm around Levi’s back, burying Levi into him even more.

“You were there,” Erwin says, voice thick and full of something terrifying. “I could feel you there, but my mind wouldn’t focus.”

He’d been incomprehensible, murmuring different things in quick succession, but he’d still thought of Levi.

“I was there,” Levi says, and he closes his eyes. “I was there, and you were dead, and I thought that that was it. That was the end, that was all we deserved, and even though you’d asked me not to give you the serum…”

Levi trails off, guilt spiking through him before he can speak the next words.

“Even though you told me not to give it to you, in the end I don’t think I would have.” It’s an honest confession, one that’s been plaguing Levi since the rooftop, and he hates himself for the choice. “I’d been fighting everyone to use it on you, but when it came down to it…”

There is silence. Erwin draws back his arm, but he doesn’t remove it. Instead he brings it to Levi’s cheek, resting there, and Levi looks into his eyes. He isn’t angry, far from it actually, and the world clicks back into some order, some sense. His Erwin is never going to disappear, is what Levi is learning, and he has no idea how he’s managed to forget something so important in such a small time.

“Thank you Levi,” he says, and he smiles gently before he kisses Levi. It’s gentle, sleepy, and there are so many different things they should be doing, but this is what Levi wants and so it’s what he does.

Later, when the sky is littered with stars they can just about see from a hole in the wall, Levi stirs from his sleep as he feels someone enter the room.

“The youngsters are taking watch,” Hanji mumbles as she joins them. She latches herself to Erwin’s other side, hands flinging themselves at Levi, and he allows it. They’ve done this before, though under less heart breaking circumstances, and Levi had argued with her back then. This time he accepts the hands and the feet, even if it’s just because Erwin is smiling slightly in his sleep.

“Floch will wake us in the morning, and we can do what we do best then,” Hanji says around a yawn. Levi closes his eyes and feels himself slipping, warmer and more content that he’s been in years.

They’re so close, and Levi’s never wanted anything more than their freedom. Their future is in their hands now, and he knows they might just make it. He wants to make it with both of them. To lose Erwin (again) or Hanji would devastate him. They’re going to need all of their strength for the last push now.

They can do this. They will make it through this.

.

The window is open, and Levi can feel a breeze stirring through the room. He’s still half asleep, and he stretches out, curling up a moment later. There’s no one beside him, but that’s not much of a surprise. Even now there are few days they wake up beside each other.

Sleep eludes him, so Levi rolls onto his back and opens his eyes, sniffing and blinking his dreams back. He can’t remember them, but he feels refreshed and rejuvenated. They can’t have been bad dreams.

He can hear Erwin in the kitchen and smiles at the thought of him cooking. Last week he’d been frying vegetables and eggs, and the result had been a slightly charred, slightly runny disaster, as his breakfasts always were. Give Erwin any other meal, and he’ll do well, but breakfast, no matter what it was, always eludes him. Levi blames it on the lack of sleep, and Erwin blames it on the lack of practice. Whatever the reason, it makes for strange, half-burnt-half-undercooked meals most days.

It’s just part of their life now, and even if he has to suffer through it until they die, Levi wouldn’t change it.

He gets up and heads to the bathroom, cleaning himself up and dressing for the day. Erwin is plating food when Levi walks in, and he smiles as soon as their eyes meet. Levi doesn’t question what he’s given to eat, though it looks healthier than the previous day’s breakfast.

“I really tried with this one,” Erwin says, the determination of a man who saved humanity shining through. “I hope you like it.”

Levi takes a bite, and it’s good. Then again, everything’s been good since they’ve moved here that however it’s presented doesn’t matter. They have gardens and animals, not to mention the lake. They have more than they need, and it’s something Levi never thought he’d live to see.

They almost didn’t, but they don’t think about that much anymore. That was years ago, a different time, two different people, and this is their life now.

“Hanji’s coming over today,” Erwin says, flicking through the newspaper. They always end up a day late out here, the courier and their horse always out of breath by the time they’ve trotted up the hill to the house, but they don’t miss much these days. They keep an eye on birth and death announcements, as well as the date. The rest of humanity’s affairs don’t concern them anymore; they did their part.

“She mentioned something about water samples last time she was here,” Levi mutters, taking a slice of bread from the loaf in the middle of the table and wiping up the leftovers on his plate with it. Hanji was an unstoppable force, especially with her gaggle of apprentices and assistants. Speaking of which-

“They’re camping by the lake, don’t worry,” Erwin assures him, folding the newspaper up. Levi nods, satisfied that they’ve avoided a disaster like last time. He’d not been impressed with the whirlwind Hanji and her gang had stirred up in their house, and the mess inside alone had taken him weeks to clean.

“How long’s she here this time?” Levi asks, and Erwin takes a sip of tea slowly, frowning. His face is lined heavily now, deep lines etched on his brow. There are deep crinkles around his eyes though too, signs that they’ve lived past the titans and found their happiness. Levi thinks their smile-lines will be deeper than their frown lines when they finally conk it.

“Her letter said they had a week free, but knowing Hanji she’ll either cut that down to three days or extend it to three weeks.” Erwin offers a smile, then a refill of Levi’s empty mug, and that pacifies his annoyance. He had vegetables to plant and tend to this week, and Hanji has a habit of getting in the way, supposedly in the name of science. He doesn’t need horse-sized tomatoes, no matter what Hanji says they deserve.

They sit at the table for a while, the world narrowing down to just the two of them, like it does every time they just sit. Before, Levi would never have thought just sitting and doing nothing would suit him, but he’s old now, too worn out to want anything more than this gentle peace he has, and he savours the moments he can sit here. His legs are up against Erwin’s, their hands brush whenever they reach for their drinks, and it’s perfect.

The tea runs out eventually, but neither of them make a move to refill the kettle. Levi’s watching the lake they chose to live by through the window as Erwin flicks through a book. It’s peaceful, and he wonders if he should take the boat out to fish today. He’s about to suggest Erwin help him drag the boat out when he hears someone laugh.

“Looks like our guests are here,” Erwin says, marking his page and setting his book on the table. Levi clears the plates, setting them in the sink for later, and then he joins Erwin outside their cottage. He allows himself to be hugged tightly by Hanji, and she asks casually if he’s gotten shorter.

“Your hair is fully grey now,” Levi shoots back, and Hanji laughs, waving her assistants over. It’s part of their reunion, and the reminder that they are old, that they have reached this age, is a happiness.

Erwin watches silently at his side as the assistants line up to introduce themselves. There’s only one Levi recognises from the last time Hanji was here, the rest new recruits she’s gathered. They’ll disperse eventually soon, Levi knows, just like the other ones.

“The lake is as beautiful as ever,” Hanji comments, hands on hips as she looks over it.

It really is beautiful. After the war, when the humans were tearing themselves apart to explore a world free of titans, Erwin and Levi had been no exception. Hanji hadn’t either, but she hadn’t wanted to go with them, rolling her eyes when both Levi and Erwin had asked.

“I have too much to do,” she’d said, packing bags full of supplies, a never ending task she seemed to do every time they saw her. “I’m not getting caught up in your domesticity, thank you very much. I’ll visit though.”

Of course they’d laughed at her first. Settle down into comfort and domesticity? Erwin Smith and Levi Ackerman? Hardly, they’d laughed, thinking it wouldn’t be long before they joined back up with Hanji and went exploring.

And they had explored. They’d seen unimaginable things, strange animals, stranger plants, deserts, waterfalls, even the ocean… and yet nothing had felt like home until they’d found the lake. And once they’d found the lake, their house had been built for them as service to the crown, and that had been that.

They had rooted themselves down, and Levi has never regretted their choice.

“I was thinking of fishing,” Levi comments, and he winces as he hears the battle cry of their rooster. He’s about to peck someone and, sure enough, someone squeals. Hanji just laughs, clapping her hands together.

“Fish would be lovely,” she says, and that’s that done. Erwin’s already moving out of the way and towards the boat shed, so Levi grabs some supplies and follows him.

They move the boat out slowly, wheeling it down to the coast and unloading it into the water. They’re quick to throw shoes and supplies on the boat before rolling up their trousers and jumping through the water. Erwin pushes them out as Levi gets them going, and then they’re floating out to the middle of the lake.

Begrudgingly, Levi joins in Erwin’s enthusiastic waves, as if they’re leaving the group on the shore behind forever. Even in the centre of the lake can Levi see them clearly, and he watches as they form some sort of order, inspecting whatever lies on the coast.

“It’s been awhile since we had a day like this,” Erwin says, settling himself at the back of the boat. Levi cuts the power and hands Erwin a rod and box of bait. He’s a terrible fisherman, but Erwin likes to participate, and is as excited as a child when he does catch something. They always end up reeling it in together, and Erwin always takes advantage, slipping Levi on his lap and kissing him and, well. Perhaps Levi likes it when Erwin catches things more than when he does.

“Shut it and catch your damned fish,” Levi murmurs, settling down beside Erwin and casting his own rod out. He leans into Erwin and they wait, listening to the echoes of Hanji’s group and the soft sway of the lake.

It’s times like this that Levi almost can’t believe what they went through, what horrors they’ve faced. It’s a lifetime away now, something out of a story book. Even his memories feel hazy, and Levi is happy to let them go, especially when he can fill their space with how the reflection of the sun highlights Erwin’s crow’s feet.

They don’t catch a single fish, but that doesn’t matter. Levi never chose this life for the fish; he chose it for Erwin, and Erwin is all he needs.

And from the way Levi catches Erwin looking at him every now and then, Levi knows he is all Erwin needs too.  



End file.
